So I went on a date last night.

I go on dates now and then... you know, just to break up the routine. Anyway, the date started out well... to be honest, it was a third date. The first time, the guy showed up at my house wearing a velvet blue coat, long hair tied back in a pony tail, sky-blue sneakers and skinny jeans. Not my idea of style, thank you very much. That look might work on sixteen-year-old boys, but not twenty-two-year-old half-men creatures who are supposed to be impressing me.

Anyway, first date bombed, but he was funny and nice so I went on a second date. It was better, but he tried to kiss me after only half an hour, and that was a little too fast for me. Slow down there, Blue Velvet. Not sure if I want to try out those lips yet. Ew. I left soon after.

Third date happened... much more fun this time, still didn't kiss, he backed off after the original rejection and now neither of us knew what we were doing. It was destined to fail.

Then last night happened. We went to dinner, got sushi, ate, only to find out that I'M THE ONE PAYING THE BILL. What the fuck? Pardon my French, but I need some warning if I'm going to be paying for a date -- not just have it dumped on me.

The way he let me know was confusing too. We ate, afterwards he said, "Thank you, by the way." 

Me: "Huh?"

Blue Velvet: "Oh, I thought you were paying this time."

Me: "Uh... well, I mean, can we go halves? I don't have a job right now and money is a problem." Did I mention that he is a programmer and rents his own house and pays for his own car?

Blue Velvet: "I would, but I left my wallet in the car, and I only have a card... I have six dollars at my house though." The meal cost me $20. His dinner was more than half of that.

I don't have a job right now. I don't have money. I recently spent three hellish nights babysitting a dying dog so I could scrounge together enough money to buy myself some new clothes and a birthday present for my friend.

What kind of man lets a woman buy him dinner? Shameful. Instead of men taking care of women, we're breeding a society where men get full advantage -- they get gorgeous companionship, entertainment, sex, and then free dinners. No. Men and women are different. Men should take pride in caring for women, because we need each other, and if you buy me dinner and treat me like a queen, then I'll return the favor in all the wonderful ways that women CAN return favors. Just give me some respect. That's all I ask.

Which, by the way, I don't find sex jokes on dates cute. They're rude. And offensive. And leave me feeling uncomfortable.